In the world of professional communication, coming across confidently is key. But for many professional people, nerves get in the way of projecting the relaxed, confident demeanor they desire. The good news? Confidence can be cultivated, and a powerful presence can be developed. In this post I explore ways to overcome nervousness and communicate with genuine confidence.
Understanding Presence
At the heart of confident communication lies presence. But what exactly is presence? It's that somewhat enigmatic quality that makes people sit up and take notice when you enter a room or start to speak. It's the ability to be fully engaged in the moment, while radiating authenticity and self-assurance. Presence isn't about being the loudest or most charismatic person; it's about being comfortable in your own skin, being fully, genuinely you.
Overcoming Nerves
Even people who have a strong sense of presence can feel nervous when they have to speak in front of a room. The nerves usually come from the (almost universal) fear that we will fail, that others will think poorly of us or our reputation might be ruined. The truth is that a manageable level of nerves can be a positive thing, motivating us to prepare carefully and practice our talk enough times.
When nerves become an issue is when they are debilitating. Fear activates our autonomic nervous system, the famous “fight or flight” reaction, and floods our body with adrenaline. The effects of too much adrenaline are probably familiar to many of you, dry mouth, pounding heart, you can’t find your words, or worse, you forget everything you wanted to say. This is truly terrifying!
If you suffer from this level of debilitating nerves just thinking about having to give a presentation, fear not. There are several things you can do to lessen and control this response:
Reframe Nervousness: Instead of perceiving your nerves as a negative, reframe them as a positive. Being nervous and being excited share similar physiological responses. For some people, making the mental shift from being nervous to being excited can be a powerful change.
Visualize Success: Spend time visualizing yourself delivering your talk with confidence and ease. This mental rehearsal can significantly impact your actual performance and reduce your sense of nervousness.
Do Controlled Breathing Exercises: Deep, diaphragmatic breathing can calm your nervous system. Practice the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, exhale for 8 counts, repeat.
Practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique, done right before your presentation, involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in your body. Start from your toes and work your way up to your head. This can help release physical tension and calm your mind.
Learn and Practice EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also known as "tapping," can be remarkably effective in reducing anxiety. It involves gently tapping on specific meridian points while talking through your anxiety and focusing on accepting yourself despite it. Practiced on a regular basis, and just before your presentation, this technique can help calm your autonomic nervous system and allow you to center your mind.
Start Strong: Plan and practice your opening thoroughly. Starting strong builds confidence for the rest of your communication.
Focus on Your Message: Remember why your message matters. Connecting with the importance of what you're communicating can help to overshadow your nerves.
How to Project a Relaxed, Professional Demeanor
Be Mindful of Your Body Language: Stand or sit tall, maintain an open body posture, and use purposeful gestures. Your body language should convey the confidence you want to project.
Speak with Intention: Pace your speech, use purposeful pauses, and vary your vocal tone. This not only makes you sound more confident but also gives you time to collect your thoughts.
Make Eye Contact: Meaningful eye contact builds connection and projects confidence. In person, this means making direct eye contact with individuals in the room for a few seconds at a time, covering all parts of the room. In virtual settings, this means looking directly at the camera consistently and especially when making important points.
Dress the Part: Wear clothes that make you feel confident and that are appropriate for the context. When you feel good in what you're wearing, it shows.
Embrace Imperfection: Remember, your audience isn't expecting perfection. They're looking for authenticity. If you make a mistake, acknowledge it if necessary and move on gracefully.
The Power of Practice to Communicate with Confidence
Like any skill, communicating with confidence requires practice. Seeking out opportunities to speak, whether it's volunteering to lead meetings, joining a public speaking club, or simply engaging more actively in day-to-day conversations can all offer you the chance to improve.
Remember, developing presence and confidence is a journey. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. With time and practice, you'll find yourself communicating with a natural confidence and presence that engages and inspires your audiences and your team.
Your unique voice and perspective are valuable to those in your world. By learning to manage your nerves and developing your presence, you can allow that value to shine through in all your professional communications.
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